Some randomness on women's day

This note had it's birth on a train journey back from one of our Saturday hikes.My mind usually wanders through topics ranging from what's for dinner to what is the real meaning of life during such exhaustive journeys.That day, I went digressing from thoughts about food to thoughts on the women I shared the trip and from there to all the beautiful women I've met.

Hence this random bits about some of my favourite women/girls jotted down on a mobile app a few weeks back.

.......

To me, she looked 8 or at most 10 years old.I will probably never know her enough to write lines that can fully contain her kindness or thoughtfulness. When she came running with water and painkiller sprays, to a stranger me that barely spoke any of the languages that she did, she restored my faith in humanity.Much more than all those videos on YouTube did.I hope that her big heart grows bigger with age, so that more strangers get their faith in humanity restored on a trip to  Porto Cristo.

.......

As I laugh on her 'joke' about the one time she took her lenses off and couldn't find her glasses, I couldn't  help but admire her for everything that she's achieved.I am in awe of the way her eyes light up when she speaks about her favorite sport..When life gave her lemons, she made lemonade with it,used the energy to play her favourite sport and excel in it .The guilt that I feel when I unnecessarily whine about infinitesimal pain in some part of my body, I owe that to her.

.......

She's the proactive big sister, but not just to her siblings.The one that could don a mountain bike and a dress with equal grace.Each time she puts her messy hair up in a bun and fixes things for you ( from food to bikes and relationships), I promise you'll fall in love with her.

........

One of them, I have known since the days when we wondered what sanitary napkins were for.The other I met while I was busy pretending to be an adult.To me,they live similar,parallel lives on two different parts of the globe.In a world that tells you that you are less of a woman for the way you chose to live and love.They live the life of their choice unperturbed by 'log kya kahenge'.

........

More power to all of you, please continue to inspire me!

KKG

To my Ms.Almost-Perfect on her Wedding day

Dear Ms.Almost Perfect,

     After we hung up the call today, I got myself to finally accept the fact that it is your wedding eve and that you are actually getting married. TOMORROW!

I am happy for you and happier for Mr.TK because he is getting married to someone that I know for sure is the closest thing to perfection.

You are one of the most real yet amazing human beings that I will ever meet.You are my reason to believe that everyone from Kannur has a big heart.

You have loved me when I wasn’t very lovable, like only a sister would. You helped me struggle through the most confused phases of my life.
You cleaned up the mess that I made in OUR room umpteen times and made it a real home. So much like ‘HOME’ that nobody that came in wanted to leave.

Remember we have had to literally kick Reenu and Hiba out from the room so many times after late night chats?  I miss those times. :(

Best friends =Almost-sisters

You have been the perfect friend/roommate more times than I can count or remember.

Thanks for everything, and in return you’ll be the only one that officially has the right to call me ‘Kavi’ and still have me love that. ;)

I have seen you transform from that shy 19 year old from Kunhimangalam that I met on the first day of college to this strong independent girl who’s flying towards her dreams. Seeing that, my (our) heart beams with pride.

You deserve the best, for all the goodness that you have in you.

I hope each day in your lives is a celebration and that you make lots of sweet memories together.

                                              

Happy Married Life Vini and TK!

Much love

Yours,
Kavi

P.S: Did you notice it’s going to be TK,PK and DK for the three of us. :)

Twenty five things I am grateful for at 25.

1. For the opportunity(ies) to do a PhD/live abroad. No matter what turn life takes from here, the experience of moving abroad, alone at 22 will remain unparalleled.

2.For the time, money and opportunity to travel around Europe and do all the adventures while I am still healthy and crazy.
3.For being able to keep in touch with friends from primary/high school/college on an almost-day to day basis.
4. For amazing colleagues at work and a fun office to complement it.

5. For a mentor that didn’t give up on me. Yet.
6. Just knowing that a friend from kindergarten didn’t forget to send his wedding invite, even after being out of touch for 20 years. Yes, TWENTY!
I love how life throws at you some very pleasant surprises, right on time.
7. For having a decent level in spoken Sanskrit.
8. For being able to accomplish a childhood dream, the one that I dreamt for my parents, coming true in less than two weeks. Inshahallah.
9. For the ability to adapt myself to anyone/thing, without compromising my core values.

10. For the ability to know all the tricks people play and the wisdom to know that no tricks are worth it in the long run. Yes, I believe in Karma.

11. For the friends I made abroad; the realization that you can be close friends with people that didn’t understand/grow up in your culture was profound.

12.For finally being able to swim.
13.For my curly haired confession altar-Swathi. Whatsapp conversations between us will make you question our saneness or yours. Not having to watch what I say is bliss.:P
14.For having enough bank balance to fly home twice a year. Yeah, that’s luxury for a PhD salary.
15.For being able to enjoy life in a cute and calm, Spanish (let’s say Catalan) town, 0.4 km from the beach.
16. For the opportunity to learn Spanish. (Okay. I know that I'm not trying as much as I should.)But, still.
17. For good health; moving past the always cold-bronchitis phase feels wonderful-now I can rock and roll in ice cold water and still stay without my rotahaler.
18. For being able to overcome a lot of fears and insecurities. I am still working on some, but I’ve come a long way in tackling them.

19.For being able to devote enough time and effort to do yoga for a year .That’s quite a feat for someone as inconsistent as me.

20.For being able to let go of people and feelings that should not matter at this point in my life.

21.For experiences and people that keep me grounded.

22.For being able to hold on to my Indian-ness.

23.For a stable healthy relationship despite all the distance and differences.

24.For the good health and happiness of my parents and brother.

25.For just being alive.

Happy Married life Achu!

It all started on my first day in K.V. CRPF, Pallipuram,- Class- III-B (Grade-3 that is), Raichel ma’am allotted me the seat near this girl with little pigtails- Ashwini. During the lunch break she gave me a mango-bite which I later learned was a bribe to let her have the side seat in the bench. I wasn’t really happy about giving the side-seat away, but I let her have it. Yes, who knows, maybe she has more mango-bites at home. ;)

Little did we realize that the mango-bite and the side –seat of the second row in grade three would keep us bonded forever. It’s been sixteen years since then, we grew up from the girls with pig tails to college graduates with salon –hair cuts, moved to different cities, majored in different subjects, made new friends- but the one thing that hasn’t changed is the fact that when we pick up each other’s call, we connect like the old times. There are no – ‘how-are-you’-s or ‘fine’s, just non-stop chitter-chatter about each others’ lives and everything under the sun.

We knew even when in school, that we didn’t have to hang out together like Siamese twins to be best friends.

We knew we’d be there for each other regardless of whether we flunked or topped classes.

But I’ve done heaps of stupid things out of my possessiveness. Passing notes to Aparna and Neeraja, asking them to stay away from MY best friend to things I don’t even want to disclose here, until you told me the most sensible and mature words that could be said by a 13 year old – ‘Your place in someone’s life remains intact, if ever they've given you that place, no matter how many people come into their life afterwards. There are no replacements for people close to you’. 

Girl, you are AH-MAZING. Don't let anyone or for that matter, yourself, convince you otherwise.

In a few hours from now, you’ll be wife to the love of your life and a few time zones away I’ll send  a sincere prayer that you have the most amazing life that you deserve.
Not being able to see you all dressed up and blushing as a bride, sucks! -_-Good luck, Achu. I love you. I don’t have to tell you how much.

                                            

Happy Happy Married life!

 *Hugs*

See you soon Mrs. Nair. ;) :-*

P.S: Okay , but even he's also not allowed to call you his best friend.

Of love and lost friendships

I lost someone who I believed was one of my best friends, to ‘love’. Yes ‘love’ .We cut contacts and bid adieu to a 7-year old friendship – one built over love for the same books, The British library, Maths tuitions, Famous five, a zillion combine study sessions, Five rupee-softees and dislike for the same guys and teachers- over a phone call which I refused to answer.

I was hurt because there was another half of her life which she never told me about- a ‘secret’ relationship that everyone other than me knew.

She was hurt because I did not give her a chance to explain, or so I would like to believe.

At 17, she was a normal teenager in love and I was the nerd who beLIEved that the society always ought to be right.

I was brought up to believe that love and relationships were wrong and that being in a relationship is the worst thing you will ever do in life. Not that they told me the exact words, but people who had married people of their choice were looked down upon, their parents were blamed of wrong parenting or of giving too much freedom. 

It took me five more years and much efforts from a special someone and some close friends, to get over the belief and develop my own notions about ‘right’ and ‘wrong’.‘Right’ isn’t about making the society happy but it’s about doing things that wouldn’t make your heart heavy when you go to sleep each night. As long as you can do that- you are doing fine.

So Dear Anne (!), if you are reading this , you might be frowning at my ‘hypocrisy’, but I want you to know that it wasn’t hypocrisy,it was ‘ignorance’.Ignorance that what's my 'wrong' need not be your 'wrong'.

From the unanswered greeting cards that I sent your way, and the way we looked at each other during the get-together four years back- I know things will never be the same between us.We have grown so much apart that we are probably strangers with mutual friends, but for the things that we know about each other.

But on some days like this, I still ponder over how our lives would have turned out if I had attended that one call of yours.I have no clue.
All I know now is that I should STOP thinking and click the 'Publish' button.

Spanish diary : Part-1

Hola people!

How’s 2014 treating you?

The new year did not start in a very good note for me, but then things fell in place and things are back to – okay. I’m beginning to enjoy this life- with new people, new place, and new things to learn from. Barcelona is beautiful- I love the sky here- the ‘blue’est I have ever seen, I love the way the wind gives me company on my lonely shopping trips, I love the way strangers smile and say ‘hola’ to me. I started my Spanish classes some weeks back and I’ve learned (only) enough to ask the shopkeeper for things and end up puzzling him.

The first months are always tougher than the rest and I’m hoping I can overcome all the hurdles with time. I have lost count of the number of times that I doubted my abilities, which is new to me.

There were even moments when I felt like the dumbest person to have walked the earth. But I have people who can make me feel otherwise, restore my faith in myself even when they are miles away.

In the last one month and a half, I have been doing more experiments in my kitchen than in the clean room. *Sigh.*

I guess all my bad luck is getting used up in the kitchen. Good for me. ;)

To top it all, I have friends who send me ‘appam- egg curry ‘photographs straight from their dining tables. These photos arrive right when I am mourning over the sambar-like-gravy that tastes nothing-like- it. Talk about timing.

After I posted my first few pictures from Barcelona, I’ve had people telling me how far I’ve gone in life. I think it’s mostly because I’m in a ‘phoran’ country and in India everything that is ‘phoran’ is so cool. I don’t mean that I’m not a happy person now; in fact I’m living my dream now, but it isn't that easy.

Trust me when I say that life abroad may be fancy in pictures- the parties, the places, the multinational friends- but nothing ever compares to the carefree life we had in the cocoon of our families. These, I think are the side-effects of growing up. I don’t like the fact that two of my closest friends – one’s the girl who exchanged her skirt with me when mine got muddy after a game of kabbadi and the other is someone who always wanted to be in my team even when I was a total loser in sports- are getting married.  I can’t be happier for them because they are both getting married to the love of their lives, at the same time I cannot get myself to face that in no time our conversations will change to what they cooked that day and their adventures with the saas.

I cannot make it for their weddings, and it sucks. Learning my lessons from this, I sent messages to my other close friends giving them a strict notice that either they are getting married in December or not. I know I am a lucky bitch when some of their parents agree to that. :D

With my first salary, I made my decision to bring smiles on the faces of people who were not as privileged as many of us. So, this June when the schools reopen one child in rural India will have a new school bag full of goodies that he/she badly needed. This was a small promise that I made to myself when I got my first PhD offer.I don’t mean to advertise this tiny donation and get applauded. For me knowing that I could bring a smile on child’s face is enough and it gets me a high. But, I mean to persuade people to donate; I mean to encourage people to share their little joys with those who were not as lucky, just like Dhanya inspired me to. Did I tell you she sponsors a child through Worldvision? Yes, she’s one of those nicest women on the planet. For those who did not know, Worldvision is a humanitarian organization which has been making lives better for a lot of people in India and many other third world countries.

Got your first salary? Kid’s first birthday? Parents’ wedding anniversary? 

Like they say:

*Wink* *Wink*

Share happiness. Spread happiness.

KKG

Here's to new beginings..

ah.. h…um  * clears throat* - S.... SURPRISE!  I’m back!

Okay, I know I’m not talking to many people through this, but that is not going to make me stop. So, what brings me back here? - A lovely comment from my favourite blogger – Defiant Princess aka Farzana Khan- thank you so much.
Time flies, it really does. Here’s proof-only some days back, I was speaking at the fresher’s party and now five years of college are gone. Letting go of it was not that hard. But at the end of it I’m really grateful to the place and SOME of its people for taking me some steps closer to where I’ve always wanted to reach. The good things that happened, I take along with me as memories and the bad, I take along as lessons- and both have had their share in changing me from the confused, conceited, starry eyed teen that entered the place five years ago.
Apart from degree certificate and the little something that I learned, I’m taking along some people- ones that loved me when I was not very lovable, ones that ask me to ‘take care’ not just as an etiquette.

Vini- Did you know that if I was asked to pick the nicest person and friend I’ve ever met- I’d pick you?. I know you’ve had a hell of a time dealing me as a roomie. But no good thing comes easy. ;)
Zarin – you are a rare combination- beautiful in and out.
I hope we stay the same.
Reenu-you know where all the good in you comes from ?– your family- you’ve got one of the nicest people as family- It was pleasure knowing them.  
Hiba- my partner in crime, shopping and eating -all awesome people are born on 21^st August, right?!Yeah, RIGHT! ;)
You both are the sisters that I never had.
D.K., Shubh, Arvind, R.K. ji- we’ve had differences in opinion- we’ve had our fights, even bitter ones- but at the end of it all, I’m really thankful to you guys- for everything.
Some wonderful seniors – who I do not mention by names for the fear of leaving someone out- but here’s the clue- if I stay in touch with you- I genuinely like/admire/adore you.The SLS girls, Keerthana, the many MCA- M.Sc.- MBA Chechis – my hostel memories would have been so empty without you all.
I’m glad that I could share this part of my story poem with you all and I hope you feel the same.
And yes I’ve got some NEWS-After an eight month attempt to prove myself worthy of a PhD scholarship- ICFO finally took the plunge and gave me an offer  (but  that was only after 4 beautiful and well written rejection letters that they sent me) .So the next part of the POEM is scheduled to be set in a beautiful city in Spain.I’m going to Barcelona (Yes, I’m excited, despite the fact that my knowledge of football is only a little more than how much most people know about M.Sc. Photonics).
Folks, I’m entering a phase of my life that I’m most excited about. Wish me luck.

I hope you all have new exciting beginings.

LOVE. HOPE. PEACE.
Jobless-Nerd
KKG

P.S:  This post is dedicated to the best thing  that happened to me in college.

P.P.S: And I do not blog, does not necessarily mean I do not read your blogs. I read every post on all the blogs I follow, I swear. I was just too lazy to comment.

P.P.P.S: I do not dance. Singing isn’t my forte. Hence .I try to write and it turns out very narcissistic like this. I hope you excuse me for all the time you wasted here. PEACE be with you. ;)

Now,You're gone..

I am not one percent hurt.
                                I am one hundred percent broken.
I don’t can’t hate you.
                                 I hate myself for that.
I am not heartbroken.
                                I miss my heartbeats.
I don’t cry.
                                I miss my dimples.
I don’t miss you.
                                I miss the person I was, when I was with you.
I don’t feel lonely.

                                     I feel the world’s too crowded for me to live, anymore.

Now,I don't live, I just exist.


KKG

Notepad Scribblings #1

When you trust someone too much, you give them the power to break you.
Then, when they do that…you may lose faith in them, but more importantly you lose the faith you had in your ability to make right decisions.


Jobless Nerd
KKG

Twenty one lines of an Ugly Poem

August 21, 2011, when the clock strikes 6, I complete my 21 revolutions around the Sun.

Wooo...hoo.. twenty one years...the ride was perfect: not entirely how I wanted it to be ,yet in many ways a lot better and exciting!

In 21years the 3.2kg ,baby me has added to herself 48 more kgs and grown160 cms tall.

As a kid, I didn’t get all the toys I cried for, I didn’t go to Disneyland or any lands they have here now either, instead I played SAT and Mommy - Daughter games with the kids next-door ,broke all the bones of my left leg at 4,threw stones at my neighbour and his dog, played cricket with my bro and friends, climbed the school compound wall twice at 10, pulled a tiger’s tail at the Trivandrum zoo while they were shifting its cages, ran between the legs of an elephant at Shankhumukham beach at 8,because my crazy bro challenged me on that..*taps back*
Now, don’t you dare look at me in disbelief, I swear !!Or Ask my mom! :-/
In school I was extra confident, chatter box, bossy, tomboy, topper, proud head, anti love(Yeahhh???!!!). Speaking of that, some people in my class actually thought that I was Princy’s secret spy, telling her who’s hooking up with whom? But I swear I wasn’t that mean. Though relationships and love were words I had some strange inhibition to, back then. But, you know, people grow up, things change. :P
School, K.V., CCA, elocutions, houses are words that give me Goosebumps.
The elocutions, the speeches, the Sanskrit news, the furious debates, quizzes, lifting up the overall championship trophy for two consecutive years for my ARYABHATTA HOUSE..woooo...
No matter how many elections I’ll win in future, the one I treasure the most will be this one which got me the little badge which read *Deputy School Pupil Leader (Junior)* that I used to pin on my shirt to school in class-5. It gave me some type of superpower, at least I felt so then.
The n number of times I had compered for the various functions at school; to be finally left out on the big day : the annual day ,may be just because they thought I was not ‘presentable’*I dint have looks that could kill*. Imagine hearing stuff you wrote being used by someone else for the same function you have been left out of. Well, my pillow and my bestie had all my tears then.
Now, wait, don’t judge me. I’m not an embodiment of inferiority complex or anything.
But yes, there have been days in my life when people have made me feel low, at times may be unknowingly.
People usually fail to see this very sensitive kid inside me.
Yet again,I’m thankful to all those who have did that to me, you taught me how not to hurt people. *a big thank you*
Ask me about college and I can tell you about few awesome people I met, some filthy ones I had to (cos life’s certainly not a bed of roses),some moments when I wondered how some people can be as selfish as they are, some moments when I wished I weren’t me, some others when I was proud that I’m ME,....ummmmm...nothing much actually, it’s too boring to be called a college.
But, I’ll miss college too, not as much as I miss my school. <3
 Life has given me lots of people and moments to be happy about. The happiest was seeing the pride in my dad’s eyes when I topped my school in class-10 and got my name on the board of honour of the school. (Umm...now you know why I call myself a jobless ‘nerd’. Once upon a time that was the best term that could describe me.)
Never did anything of the sort later in life. I messed up my class 12 boards and the entrance examinations. Damn!
Oh yes! I do have this journal paper in JNN(*Journal of Nanoscience and Nanotechnology*) which mentions my name as one of its authors. *ahh,you don’t pay me for modesty * 
Well, my mom’s a lot different from dad. She doesn’t get easily carried away by all this. I’m sure that even if I come home with a Nobel she’s going to say ‘ What’s the big deal in that?’ :P
 But thank you Amma, you keep my pride level in check.
 I know I’ll never be able to return back all the favours and sacrifices they’ve done for me. Those sleepless nights I gave them when I had my worst asthma attacks. The times they’ve walked all the way home just to save the auto charge. The times they missed being with their own siblings at family functions because we had an exam. The times they woke up at 3 or 4 to wake me up and get me to the tuitions. Those prayers and temples they’ve gone to when things went wrong with me or bro. Those dresses they denied themselves when they bought new ones for us.
 I just cannot thank you enough. But I do hope that one day I’ll be able to do something big, like really big, just for you. I promise to never let you down. <3 


*sigh*Did I hear someone yawning now?I’m not done yet.

To the reader 21 lines of this ugly poem will neither be impressive nor poetic. But I’ve had my fun living every one of the puzzling 21 lines. And I’m happy that with each line that didn’t rhyme, the poem got more appealing. I’ll continue living it line by line , word by word, letter by letter, till THE poet above gets exhausted and bored, come what may.
P.S.:
To my Achan & Amma, for being the force and energy behind every little thing I have achieved in these 21 years on planet earth. It’s your dreams about me that keep me going.
To my brother, for the innumerable times he has stood by me, without even letting me know that he did care. You are the best thing that has happened to me!
To my friends, for all the times they’ve laughed and cried with me. You rock my world!
To someone, for this smile on my face. I wish I could tell you that you make me feel at the top of the world (...the view’s a lot scary though)
To K.V. for all the good and bad times it gave me.
To Trivandrum, the city where I grew: taller,stronger and sharper.

JoBleSs NeRd
KKG





Ohh yeah!

Happy birthday to me!! :)

Good Bye!

Today when I leave

I promise not to be back

But wait,till I gather the pieces

Of me, that I lost

In the quest,the trial or the game

I don't depart with the memories

For I know they'll fade with me

Just a few words for Goodbye,

I have learned to let go

Please don't come in while I still can breathe.


KKG

...............................

She was not the prettiest girl he ever met.

Hers was not sweetest voice in the world.

Her brown eyes never mesmerised him.

Her touch never left him yearning for more.

Her smile never had any magical lure.

She had no splendour incomparable.

Yet, he thought she was the one;

who made his life beautiful, like never before.

And to him that made sense, only that.

Strange!






KKG :)

Couldn't find a good title.

May be...life's like this!

They say love in its purest form is sacrifice.

Yeah..May be...

May be.. its the destined few who prove it over and over again in history.

May be.. its just a way of growing up and becoming stronger.

May be.. thats the way God tells us to aspire for what we really deserve and he surely gives us all what we deserve though not all we desire.

May be... everything happens for a reason often Good! :)

May be..I must thank you for all those times you've brought out my dimples. * smiles *


May be life's all about those smiles,those tears and those sacrifices for our loved ones!!

May be....its time to move on...


May be... life ahead would be a lot better with the decisions that hurt and tend to tear you apart now. :)



And yes I'm definitely proud of me for the promises and of you even more than words can ever describe!!

.

.

.

.

.

.

May be...deep inside I'll always love you and miss you even more,just like you do.

Ummm never mind...just a sudden eruption of feelings,couldn't help posting it.



Luv
KKG
Really Jobless Nerd!!

PS:This is pure fiction and pls don't trouble me with qs about this :D

Happy Birthday Bro!

They say Brothers are fun.
For me,you define 'Fun'.
Remember how we used to squeeze ourselves through the window bars for the afternoon cricket match,when amma left us locked in the house for the afternoon nap.
Those strolls from the bus stop to home after school,playing football with every stone in our way.
Those cycle rides to anywhere and everywhere and our crazy expeditions to find new shortcuts and streets.The infinite times you've made me bowl when you got your first MRF cricket bat. :)
The furious fights over the T.V. remote and computer games.
As we grew older their have been times when you pretended that you don't care,but I always knew I had a friend to count on in you.May be you don't know that my very first prize in elocution,in Class -5 came for the small note on 'Good health'by you.
May be you don't know or you pretend not to know how proud I am of you!
I've never let you know that there have been times I adored your simplicity,your ways of being truly 'you'.

Never did I thank you for the countless times you've made me feel special.
I love the way you trust me with anything and everything.
I loved the way you reacted when I told you my big secret. :)
I love the way you run to me for Solutions. :P
Yeah,but I do know that even when I wake up till midnight just to wish you and get this posted,you wouldn't even remember which month I were born.And thats you :the'BEST' thing that has happened to me,EVER!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY DA!

Daz my fav. pic of you!
God Bless!

And..this is the real reason why I wrote this.:P
Thanks! I expect more such good deeds from you. ;)












Love
Kathu!

Just another blogpost!

# Its kind of funny that out of the two lessons that your college gives you,the one you don't bother about comes with the fee attached and the priceless lessons you treasure for a lifetime comes free.
# Story books always told me that angels had wings.Wonder where my Best buddies hide them.
# Boys do get jealous and when they do,you get to see the most vicious of games being played.
# Sometimes I like the loneliness that surrounds me and then bit by bit I fall in love with it.
# No matter how many people come into their lives. Your place in their lives remains intact,if ever you've occupied the place. *Courtesy:the sweetest person I know*
# Water is a Universal solvent.My roomie will never stop tidying the room, inspite of knowing the fact that I'm gonna be there sometime later.
# Sometimes I pretend to be my old self though I know it shows.
# Never trust people blindly.More importantly do not count on them ( & their votes):P
# I can forgive people fast,but not for very long.*ah who cares *
# You get butterflies in your stomach even when your childhood love tells you about his latest crush! * no questions will be entertained here *
# No matter how matured I am, I will always be 'kavi mol' for my juniors . :P
# Life changes way too fast.People who were my friends three years back are now just 'people I know'. People I loathed once top my friend list now.



Hugggzzz !



to be continued....

The 'exam-over' post!

Hi readers!(hope there are some left)
Two weeks of university exams and internals kept me away and busy.
I'm writing this just to relieve my greycells of the stress tensors and the EPR paradox.

I've been looking for a topic since two days.
Come'on,I'm not running out of topics.or am I? :-O
No way.!!
Its the time of farewells.Batch-4's passing out,which means we still have 3 years for a farewell.
Not that I'm looking forward to a farewell.
But imagining myself 3yrs from now,I dont think I'll miss my college much,except that I'll miss my two closest buddies Vini and Zarin.We aren't best buddies if you ask me,more like sisters :) ..touch wood!
And may be I'll miss the occassional fun we have in class too.
I'm not going to depress you guys with any kind of emo-stuff.
Now that I've mentioned about farewell I dont think its just,not to talk about some of my favourite Batch -4 seniors.
I'm not friends with everyone,(wouldn't mind saying I cannot tune my frequencies to match it with a few
 :-| )but there are few I adore and share good rapport with.
Braniacs like Nishant bhaiya and Vikash Bhaiya who've helped me a lot with my project,giving me a hand when I really was stranded.
Prashant Bhaiya-I'll definitely miss those advices and chats with him-one real cool person he is.!
Priyamvada chechi-'the one and only'
Rose chechi- a living example of 'cool-nerd' B-) :P
Hemanth ettan- real good hearted guy,(really hope he doesnt read this :P)..it has always been nice to pull his legs making stories about some non-existent g.f of his :D

Batch-4 was a true amalgam of all elements needed to make a real fun gang.
People ranging from big time bujis to dancers and poets.
Just cannot forget the dance performances by them everytime some department's fest in the university ran out of events.Hats off to that undetering 'confidence'.
The group songs (omg!)-awsome-all credits to Fasal ikka!
Those strikes and the slogans (lol)-thats Mahesh ettan's area I guess!
I'm sleepy cant type more...its 11'o' clock you see.
So I declare this post done and am Posting it!
.. let this one be dedicated to the Batch-4 of CELOS. :)
CELOS will miss you guys as much as you miss it!
Au revior!

On the boulevard of my dreams..

"...so where are you studying?"
"I'm doing my integrated MSc. in Photonics at CUSAT"
"er...uh...M.Sc.???After class 12??It must be BSc right??
(Do I look like a moron to you??Didnt you hear I said integrated MSc.~~I'd love to give that for a reply,but from the time you learn to speak you are taught or forced to control your feelings n what you speak)
"No,its a five year course straight after class 12-"INTEGRATED"!
"M.Sc. in what did you say?"
"PHOTONICS"
"..oh...the youth these days always want to do something thats out of the box"
(Cannot explain the feeling I had when I heard this :Dfor I always wanted to be different)
"....but Photography and such fields arent so good for girls,I wouldn't say that its a good dare"
---->>huh?? :-O he spoiled it !!
(argggg..where in the world do I get such  kind of people to talk to~~the world seems to be full of them)
"Photonics isnt Photography..its scientific-we learn of lasers,optoelectronics,optical fibres and things"
"ohh..my cousins son is doing engineering at "*********** college"..you should have tried writing the entrance exams after preparing..M.Sc. will take you no where.B.tech gives you the 'professional' power in the job market"
(...hello...you are talking to someone who has been one of the toppers of all her classes okay??
Being frank-I badly wanted to brag about my grades to that moron.Again I did not!)
"Ohh..but I am not interested to join the crowd of engineers and end up in an a/c cabin of some 'posh' IT company." :) I was glad I said that.
"And I guess its time for me to get down.Nice meeting you.Bye"
I didnt mean the second sentence though I sure recognise it was my voice.
It really gets on my nerves when people underestimate my dreams and my course.


Joining for this little known course called 'Integrated M.Sc. in Photonics' at the 'Centre of Excellence in Lasers & Optoelectronic Sciences' was a dare in the eyes of almost all people I knew.
I'm a girl of many dreams,to list a few-
1)Class 3--Scientist (not because I was very interested..just because everyone said'doctor-engineer-teacher-doctor' and I wanted to be different) :P
2)Class 5-8--Space scientist(inspired by a lesson in my English reader)
3)Class 8--->Astrophysicsist (because I wanted people to 'wow' :P)
4)Till class 12 --->Astrophysicsist + clear the civil service(that started when one of my teachers said he forsees one in me ..dunno if he was kidding)
(shhhh..... its during this time tht I heard of Photonics in CUSAT and just 20 seats??-that made it look like something light years away~~that was a secret dream)
The two months after class 12-I was thinking and rethinking -'what next?'
Finally I decided on B.Sc. Physics--in between,the aieee counselling created some re-re-thinking about the decision-But,no I had decided to go for physics and meanwhile prepare for ICS.
But then fate decided I'd be one of the '20' to study 'photonics ' at CUSAT....wowiee...!
On August 4 2008- finally I covered all those light years and joined CELOS :D
At this juncture all I can say is:
                           Two roads diverged in a Yellow wood
                           Sorry I could not travel both
                            And be one traveller,long I stood
                           Then took the other, as just as fair,

                           And having perhaps the better claim

                           I shall be telling this with a sigh
                           Somewhere ages and ages hence:
                           Two roads diverged in a wood, and
                            I took the one less traveled by,
                            And that has made all the difference !  
                      
                             -(borrowed from Robert Frost :D..hope he wouldnt mind the deletions :P)      



Love
Jobless nErD !!
                  

              

...dEdicAtiOnS..

I've been on blogger since 2007 but  never really found time to sit down and write 
Now when I started writing again and few people said its good ..I am starting to take it serious.
But before I get really into this I wanna dedicate my blog to people who have made me capable of writing this;encouraged and helped me all the way.
First to my very reason of existence- my parents-the force and energy that keeps me going.
Secondly my brother Navaneeth-the best thing that has ever happened to me!!
Then to my friends at K.V,Pallipuram : Achu,Neeraja,Swathi,Sree,my twinny Gowri,Bhagya,Aish,Sandeep,Athulya and all my close pals there especially Vivek.(he's the one who really got me into this)
My buddy Clive.( I owe him for the blog title :-P~~not that he suggested it but because he calls me a 'non-conventional nerd' :-D)
To people I've met in college,especially the two gems~Vini,Zarin~
my bubbly friend Rinshi.
To one good friend I've never met in person-Midhu.
My lovely cousins.
To my favourite teacher from school -P.S.Vijayakumar sir!
My neighbours in Trivandrum.
To all people who've taken the pain and spend their time to read the "Freely falling thoughts of a jobless nerd"~~your comments mean a lot to me!!


Yours
Jobless Nerd :-P !!

Untitled-2 :P

That was long back and things have changed quite a lot.
A few even stunned me when they proved that they could even crack jokes...lol
There was this initially very silent Sunny who would throw of dialogs with a great punch.
Of course there were people who'll crack jokes at which you cannot laugh even if you tickle yourself.
But at least people had started talking and that was simply great.
Things did change for me too.
I made friends with some while started bitter fights with some others (everything for some unknown cause.)
Anyways things are not working out as in school where I'd call the entire bunch of guys and gals my friends!
May be in a class were rarely a few were teens really strong friendship was something you cannot expect.
I was here and so I had to adjust!
We had exams almost everyday and that made life worse.
We started being friends with seniors(~~they werent really bad).
(Some of them were quite interesting folks...well I dont want to make things controversial by naming the few. :-P )
The seminars and the 'high-tea'( as they call it here) was something I loved in college.First you are let into the big air conditioned auditorium to hear some professors' lectures (which only a four or five in the audience would really follow) and at the end of it you are paid for 'patiently attending ' ..with a wholesome snack packet :D

...to be continued
<3 Kavitha..

....Untitled-1 :D

Hi bloggers..!!
I'm back!!
I badly wanted to give a new life to my poor orphaned blog...all these days.. but then, where to start..what to write..everything bothered me.
So here I am sharing some bits from my diary while writing this I had only one purpose -Kill time!!
Now I guess you got some idea about life in my college!!
Yeah my "COLLEGE" (if you can call it one)
That day when I went to class I had a purpose - 'observe everyone'-only not to fall asleep in the midst of the borrrrrrring lectures.
There was just 17 of us..(19-2=17...yeah??)..two i guess were absent or did I not count myself..Well I didnt bother myself with the statistics.
"Kavi,what's the next period?',that was Vineetha.
But...'Kavi'?? :-o that was the first time she called me that.
If that was in school I'd have responded with"Excuse me??? where's my '-tha'??
But here it was different..new place ,newfaces-I felt really like a 'fish out of pond' :(.
"..Er..Its Divya Miss-Maths".
Since those were the initial days in my strange new college-I sure had done my home work!
I bet my school friends would find it hard to believe.
To talk about my school-my 12-A class-it was a really exotic place- a place where days flew off like seconds!!
Now here I was... sitting with 17 odd people ..perhaps the oddest I've come across.
To start with there was this fair long haired girl from Kannur -'Vineetha',who'd never take her eyes off her notes..damn!
And of course there was Fathima Rinshi(~~~but seriously I dont think Fathima was the right name for a gal of her range).. so.. she was Rinshi for us.
She was 'out of the planet' .... a real 'Happy -go-lucky'.
....and there was this seemingly softspoken north Indian guy- 'Ravi Nandan'- with his very typical Hindi accent...
and Ajan the lone mallu guy in class..who always carried a 'why am i here' look on his face..(who wouldnt have those when left to sulk in a class full of Hindi speaking folks~~..ours was a mini Bihar !!!)
Then there were lads who had dropped out of IITs (lol..) like Aravind~~who by the time I copied my questions would have the whole integrations done ...!
Then there was this cute guy called Shubham who right from the day he came had never kept his mouth~~so here~~i've met someone who's more of a chatterbox than me..but alas...it had to be a boy!!This guy always stayed with Deepak Kumar(..wonder why all these people have a kumar just to let others know they are single roflol)
Well then there was Mr.complicated = Abhishek(who looked like an Afghani to me on my first day~~those days I used these nerd like specs lol~maybe something was wrong with it) who would say whole lot of complicated stuff..(...half of which I wouldnt understand..but would still nod to, just because I had no other option... roflol).
left are UpkarKumar~~nerd like with his hi-power specs
Serajuddin ~~~shy ;-)
Alok ~~~'I mind my own business'
Sunil ~~ Sorry ( i missed this one..u cannot expect a girl like me to give you the report of 14 odd guys in one day))
So thats it- a very very dry bunch of geeks~~I was no different with my nerd glasses lol!!
wait a sec....I missed one-there was this 100% veggie guy(lol) NITIN who'd never talk to anybody at will...!!
That was about the class..now..
Lectures~~I had to be an attentive front bencher because I had to put up my bright student image before the first internals ;-)..
The only one class I really waited for was English(not because I liked it..only because You could write anything without adhering to 'newton's laws and archimedes principle').
So there I was at 2:15 giving that 70mm smile to my English lecturer..of course she let me in..
I walked towards my usual place only to see a very good looking girl comfortably seated there.
So that had to be our much speculated 'new girl'.
I was sure she was the kind who would give the guys 'butterfly in stomach' feeling~~she had
a cute face and expressions to match~~and that was Zarin!!
With Zarin's arrival our desert turned to an oasis at least to some guys lol.
Nothing really changed for me~~just the count! :'(
..to make things worse we had this senior-junior thing still on...seniors wouldn't miss a chance to take us on..but I kind of enjoyed it(partly because I could show off on my language skills~~thats one skill K.V. gives you!!).
..i'm tired typing...lol
will be continued..
C ya soon.