Some randomness on women's day

This note had it's birth on a train journey back from one of our Saturday hikes.My mind usually wanders through topics ranging from what's for dinner to what is the real meaning of life during such exhaustive journeys.That day, I went digressing from thoughts about food to thoughts on the women I shared the trip and from there to all the beautiful women I've met.

Hence this random bits about some of my favourite women/girls jotted down on a mobile app a few weeks back.

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To me, she looked 8 or at most 10 years old.I will probably never know her enough to write lines that can fully contain her kindness or thoughtfulness. When she came running with water and painkiller sprays, to a stranger me that barely spoke any of the languages that she did, she restored my faith in humanity.Much more than all those videos on YouTube did.I hope that her big heart grows bigger with age, so that more strangers get their faith in humanity restored on a trip to  Porto Cristo.

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As I laugh on her 'joke' about the one time she took her lenses off and couldn't find her glasses, I couldn't  help but admire her for everything that she's achieved.I am in awe of the way her eyes light up when she speaks about her favorite sport..When life gave her lemons, she made lemonade with it,used the energy to play her favourite sport and excel in it .The guilt that I feel when I unnecessarily whine about infinitesimal pain in some part of my body, I owe that to her.

.......

She's the proactive big sister, but not just to her siblings.The one that could don a mountain bike and a dress with equal grace.Each time she puts her messy hair up in a bun and fixes things for you ( from food to bikes and relationships), I promise you'll fall in love with her.

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One of them, I have known since the days when we wondered what sanitary napkins were for.The other I met while I was busy pretending to be an adult.To me,they live similar,parallel lives on two different parts of the globe.In a world that tells you that you are less of a woman for the way you chose to live and love.They live the life of their choice unperturbed by 'log kya kahenge'.

........

More power to all of you, please continue to inspire me!

KKG

To my Ms.Almost-Perfect on her Wedding day

Dear Ms.Almost Perfect,

     After we hung up the call today, I got myself to finally accept the fact that it is your wedding eve and that you are actually getting married. TOMORROW!

I am happy for you and happier for Mr.TK because he is getting married to someone that I know for sure is the closest thing to perfection.

You are one of the most real yet amazing human beings that I will ever meet.You are my reason to believe that everyone from Kannur has a big heart.

You have loved me when I wasn’t very lovable, like only a sister would. You helped me struggle through the most confused phases of my life.
You cleaned up the mess that I made in OUR room umpteen times and made it a real home. So much like ‘HOME’ that nobody that came in wanted to leave.

Remember we have had to literally kick Reenu and Hiba out from the room so many times after late night chats?  I miss those times. :(

Best friends =Almost-sisters

You have been the perfect friend/roommate more times than I can count or remember.

Thanks for everything, and in return you’ll be the only one that officially has the right to call me ‘Kavi’ and still have me love that. ;)

I have seen you transform from that shy 19 year old from Kunhimangalam that I met on the first day of college to this strong independent girl who’s flying towards her dreams. Seeing that, my (our) heart beams with pride.

You deserve the best, for all the goodness that you have in you.

I hope each day in your lives is a celebration and that you make lots of sweet memories together.

                                              

Happy Married Life Vini and TK!

Much love

Yours,
Kavi

P.S: Did you notice it’s going to be TK,PK and DK for the three of us. :)

Twenty five things I am grateful for at 25.

1. For the opportunity(ies) to do a PhD/live abroad. No matter what turn life takes from here, the experience of moving abroad, alone at 22 will remain unparalleled.

2.For the time, money and opportunity to travel around Europe and do all the adventures while I am still healthy and crazy.
3.For being able to keep in touch with friends from primary/high school/college on an almost-day to day basis.
4. For amazing colleagues at work and a fun office to complement it.

5. For a mentor that didn’t give up on me. Yet.
6. Just knowing that a friend from kindergarten didn’t forget to send his wedding invite, even after being out of touch for 20 years. Yes, TWENTY!
I love how life throws at you some very pleasant surprises, right on time.
7. For having a decent level in spoken Sanskrit.
8. For being able to accomplish a childhood dream, the one that I dreamt for my parents, coming true in less than two weeks. Inshahallah.
9. For the ability to adapt myself to anyone/thing, without compromising my core values.

10. For the ability to know all the tricks people play and the wisdom to know that no tricks are worth it in the long run. Yes, I believe in Karma.

11. For the friends I made abroad; the realization that you can be close friends with people that didn’t understand/grow up in your culture was profound.

12.For finally being able to swim.
13.For my curly haired confession altar-Swathi. Whatsapp conversations between us will make you question our saneness or yours. Not having to watch what I say is bliss.:P
14.For having enough bank balance to fly home twice a year. Yeah, that’s luxury for a PhD salary.
15.For being able to enjoy life in a cute and calm, Spanish (let’s say Catalan) town, 0.4 km from the beach.
16. For the opportunity to learn Spanish. (Okay. I know that I'm not trying as much as I should.)But, still.
17. For good health; moving past the always cold-bronchitis phase feels wonderful-now I can rock and roll in ice cold water and still stay without my rotahaler.
18. For being able to overcome a lot of fears and insecurities. I am still working on some, but I’ve come a long way in tackling them.

19.For being able to devote enough time and effort to do yoga for a year .That’s quite a feat for someone as inconsistent as me.

20.For being able to let go of people and feelings that should not matter at this point in my life.

21.For experiences and people that keep me grounded.

22.For being able to hold on to my Indian-ness.

23.For a stable healthy relationship despite all the distance and differences.

24.For the good health and happiness of my parents and brother.

25.For just being alive.

Happy Married life Achu!

It all started on my first day in K.V. CRPF, Pallipuram,- Class- III-B (Grade-3 that is), Raichel ma’am allotted me the seat near this girl with little pigtails- Ashwini. During the lunch break she gave me a mango-bite which I later learned was a bribe to let her have the side seat in the bench. I wasn’t really happy about giving the side-seat away, but I let her have it. Yes, who knows, maybe she has more mango-bites at home. ;)

Little did we realize that the mango-bite and the side –seat of the second row in grade three would keep us bonded forever. It’s been sixteen years since then, we grew up from the girls with pig tails to college graduates with salon –hair cuts, moved to different cities, majored in different subjects, made new friends- but the one thing that hasn’t changed is the fact that when we pick up each other’s call, we connect like the old times. There are no – ‘how-are-you’-s or ‘fine’s, just non-stop chitter-chatter about each others’ lives and everything under the sun.

We knew even when in school, that we didn’t have to hang out together like Siamese twins to be best friends.

We knew we’d be there for each other regardless of whether we flunked or topped classes.

But I’ve done heaps of stupid things out of my possessiveness. Passing notes to Aparna and Neeraja, asking them to stay away from MY best friend to things I don’t even want to disclose here, until you told me the most sensible and mature words that could be said by a 13 year old – ‘Your place in someone’s life remains intact, if ever they've given you that place, no matter how many people come into their life afterwards. There are no replacements for people close to you’. 

Girl, you are AH-MAZING. Don't let anyone or for that matter, yourself, convince you otherwise.

In a few hours from now, you’ll be wife to the love of your life and a few time zones away I’ll send  a sincere prayer that you have the most amazing life that you deserve.
Not being able to see you all dressed up and blushing as a bride, sucks! -_-Good luck, Achu. I love you. I don’t have to tell you how much.

                                            

Happy Happy Married life!

 *Hugs*

See you soon Mrs. Nair. ;) :-*

P.S: Okay , but even he's also not allowed to call you his best friend.

Of love and lost friendships

I lost someone who I believed was one of my best friends, to ‘love’. Yes ‘love’ .We cut contacts and bid adieu to a 7-year old friendship – one built over love for the same books, The British library, Maths tuitions, Famous five, a zillion combine study sessions, Five rupee-softees and dislike for the same guys and teachers- over a phone call which I refused to answer.

I was hurt because there was another half of her life which she never told me about- a ‘secret’ relationship that everyone other than me knew.

She was hurt because I did not give her a chance to explain, or so I would like to believe.

At 17, she was a normal teenager in love and I was the nerd who beLIEved that the society always ought to be right.

I was brought up to believe that love and relationships were wrong and that being in a relationship is the worst thing you will ever do in life. Not that they told me the exact words, but people who had married people of their choice were looked down upon, their parents were blamed of wrong parenting or of giving too much freedom. 

It took me five more years and much efforts from a special someone and some close friends, to get over the belief and develop my own notions about ‘right’ and ‘wrong’.‘Right’ isn’t about making the society happy but it’s about doing things that wouldn’t make your heart heavy when you go to sleep each night. As long as you can do that- you are doing fine.

So Dear Anne (!), if you are reading this , you might be frowning at my ‘hypocrisy’, but I want you to know that it wasn’t hypocrisy,it was ‘ignorance’.Ignorance that what's my 'wrong' need not be your 'wrong'.

From the unanswered greeting cards that I sent your way, and the way we looked at each other during the get-together four years back- I know things will never be the same between us.We have grown so much apart that we are probably strangers with mutual friends, but for the things that we know about each other.

But on some days like this, I still ponder over how our lives would have turned out if I had attended that one call of yours.I have no clue.
All I know now is that I should STOP thinking and click the 'Publish' button.

Spanish diary : Part-1

Hola people!

How’s 2014 treating you?

The new year did not start in a very good note for me, but then things fell in place and things are back to – okay. I’m beginning to enjoy this life- with new people, new place, and new things to learn from. Barcelona is beautiful- I love the sky here- the ‘blue’est I have ever seen, I love the way the wind gives me company on my lonely shopping trips, I love the way strangers smile and say ‘hola’ to me. I started my Spanish classes some weeks back and I’ve learned (only) enough to ask the shopkeeper for things and end up puzzling him.

The first months are always tougher than the rest and I’m hoping I can overcome all the hurdles with time. I have lost count of the number of times that I doubted my abilities, which is new to me.

There were even moments when I felt like the dumbest person to have walked the earth. But I have people who can make me feel otherwise, restore my faith in myself even when they are miles away.

In the last one month and a half, I have been doing more experiments in my kitchen than in the clean room. *Sigh.*

I guess all my bad luck is getting used up in the kitchen. Good for me. ;)

To top it all, I have friends who send me ‘appam- egg curry ‘photographs straight from their dining tables. These photos arrive right when I am mourning over the sambar-like-gravy that tastes nothing-like- it. Talk about timing.

After I posted my first few pictures from Barcelona, I’ve had people telling me how far I’ve gone in life. I think it’s mostly because I’m in a ‘phoran’ country and in India everything that is ‘phoran’ is so cool. I don’t mean that I’m not a happy person now; in fact I’m living my dream now, but it isn't that easy.

Trust me when I say that life abroad may be fancy in pictures- the parties, the places, the multinational friends- but nothing ever compares to the carefree life we had in the cocoon of our families. These, I think are the side-effects of growing up. I don’t like the fact that two of my closest friends – one’s the girl who exchanged her skirt with me when mine got muddy after a game of kabbadi and the other is someone who always wanted to be in my team even when I was a total loser in sports- are getting married.  I can’t be happier for them because they are both getting married to the love of their lives, at the same time I cannot get myself to face that in no time our conversations will change to what they cooked that day and their adventures with the saas.

I cannot make it for their weddings, and it sucks. Learning my lessons from this, I sent messages to my other close friends giving them a strict notice that either they are getting married in December or not. I know I am a lucky bitch when some of their parents agree to that. :D

With my first salary, I made my decision to bring smiles on the faces of people who were not as privileged as many of us. So, this June when the schools reopen one child in rural India will have a new school bag full of goodies that he/she badly needed. This was a small promise that I made to myself when I got my first PhD offer.I don’t mean to advertise this tiny donation and get applauded. For me knowing that I could bring a smile on child’s face is enough and it gets me a high. But, I mean to persuade people to donate; I mean to encourage people to share their little joys with those who were not as lucky, just like Dhanya inspired me to. Did I tell you she sponsors a child through Worldvision? Yes, she’s one of those nicest women on the planet. For those who did not know, Worldvision is a humanitarian organization which has been making lives better for a lot of people in India and many other third world countries.

Got your first salary? Kid’s first birthday? Parents’ wedding anniversary? 

Like they say:

*Wink* *Wink*

Share happiness. Spread happiness.

KKG

Here's to new beginings..

ah.. h…um  * clears throat* - S.... SURPRISE!  I’m back!

Okay, I know I’m not talking to many people through this, but that is not going to make me stop. So, what brings me back here? - A lovely comment from my favourite blogger – Defiant Princess aka Farzana Khan- thank you so much.
Time flies, it really does. Here’s proof-only some days back, I was speaking at the fresher’s party and now five years of college are gone. Letting go of it was not that hard. But at the end of it I’m really grateful to the place and SOME of its people for taking me some steps closer to where I’ve always wanted to reach. The good things that happened, I take along with me as memories and the bad, I take along as lessons- and both have had their share in changing me from the confused, conceited, starry eyed teen that entered the place five years ago.
Apart from degree certificate and the little something that I learned, I’m taking along some people- ones that loved me when I was not very lovable, ones that ask me to ‘take care’ not just as an etiquette.

Vini- Did you know that if I was asked to pick the nicest person and friend I’ve ever met- I’d pick you?. I know you’ve had a hell of a time dealing me as a roomie. But no good thing comes easy. ;)
Zarin – you are a rare combination- beautiful in and out.
I hope we stay the same.
Reenu-you know where all the good in you comes from ?– your family- you’ve got one of the nicest people as family- It was pleasure knowing them.  
Hiba- my partner in crime, shopping and eating -all awesome people are born on 21^st August, right?!Yeah, RIGHT! ;)
You both are the sisters that I never had.
D.K., Shubh, Arvind, R.K. ji- we’ve had differences in opinion- we’ve had our fights, even bitter ones- but at the end of it all, I’m really thankful to you guys- for everything.
Some wonderful seniors – who I do not mention by names for the fear of leaving someone out- but here’s the clue- if I stay in touch with you- I genuinely like/admire/adore you.The SLS girls, Keerthana, the many MCA- M.Sc.- MBA Chechis – my hostel memories would have been so empty without you all.
I’m glad that I could share this part of my story poem with you all and I hope you feel the same.
And yes I’ve got some NEWS-After an eight month attempt to prove myself worthy of a PhD scholarship- ICFO finally took the plunge and gave me an offer  (but  that was only after 4 beautiful and well written rejection letters that they sent me) .So the next part of the POEM is scheduled to be set in a beautiful city in Spain.I’m going to Barcelona (Yes, I’m excited, despite the fact that my knowledge of football is only a little more than how much most people know about M.Sc. Photonics).
Folks, I’m entering a phase of my life that I’m most excited about. Wish me luck.

I hope you all have new exciting beginings.

LOVE. HOPE. PEACE.
Jobless-Nerd
KKG

P.S:  This post is dedicated to the best thing  that happened to me in college.

P.P.S: And I do not blog, does not necessarily mean I do not read your blogs. I read every post on all the blogs I follow, I swear. I was just too lazy to comment.

P.P.P.S: I do not dance. Singing isn’t my forte. Hence .I try to write and it turns out very narcissistic like this. I hope you excuse me for all the time you wasted here. PEACE be with you. ;)